The battle of certainty against uncertainty.

Dear Mr. Blog, today was a day of mixed accomplishments. I actually figured out exactly what I am going to be doing in the next few years, but you know what the irony is...Its that I'm still uncertain on what I'm going to be in the next few days. Wether I'm going to graduate or not is such a big question right now. It all depends on the next few days and I'm not taking it very seriously. I think its time for be to buckle up and really take the last high road. Good luck to me! Figured out all the plans to going to Mexico, I'm getting more and more psyched day by day. Hope I don't implode :) I talked to this really cute girl today in Capen. Well, I saw her before when we worked with Habitat for Humanity. She's really pretty but a graduating senior. I had this strong urge to ask her out. I mean, what could I possibly lose , right? But, I didn't do it, I don't even know her name, instead I questioned myself as to "what is the point?" What is the point of asking her out if I'm never going to see her again in two weeks. What is the point of anything , Atanu? I'm such a hopeless romantic, sigh.
Ugh, today, I listened to Jesh and went to eat some buffet lunch at Tandoori's. The worst food I've eaten, I could seriously better food than that any day. Its not only the quality which pissed me off, it was also the fact that I ate so much. It pretty much killed half my day coz I got so lethargic. Never again, even if I come back after 20 years, am I eating in a desi restaurant here in Buffalo. There is not even a single restaurant which comes close to the worst desi food in Jackson Heights. I certainly hope that they improve their quality.

Murphy's Law

hey there mr. blog and others, I am the classic example of Murphy's Law, which is if anything can go wrong, it will go wrong. There is no escaping it, there are no roundabouts. I am the ultimate epitome of such. Why? Just because.... :) I am tired and hence Good night...

Not quite there...

I am not tired but not quite ready to sit down and hit the books for tomorrow's exam. The party mode in my system is still on and it shows no sign of calming down. I have an exam in less than 12 hours and I haven't even started studying yet. Then again, when is this is an unique scenario? As I've said countless other times, If I try to rewind my life back , there has not been a single time when I have actually began to study a few days in advance. I just can't do it, its not me. Last minute studying is what I do, sometimes it works for me, sometimes it doesn't. I'm just crossing my fingers and hoping that it would work tonight. Anways, it was a fun weekend, a real fun weekend. Literally there were no dull moments. The moment Abdul , Nora, Siam stepped into the door, it was a good time guaranteed. There awesome, and moreover, they give us buffolanians a fresh perspective, a fresh breath of air and a non-conventional way of having fun. The concert was nice, although I was blazed out of my mind. Duo Lounge really came through for us. It was a nice little lounge and the music was good. The only problem was though that there were not very many other people there so we moved on to dear ol' Level. I would very much preferred to stay at the Lounge, but not having a couple of new faces for the others strikes them wierd I guess. So , here I am, going to pull an all-nighter, so I thought lets relieve some stress by writing this shit out. There was a time in my life, when writing was my outlet , my form of letting go when everything was going wrong in my life. I need to get that back, and I am going to use this blog to achieve that. Laterz Mr. Blog and others. Listening to some Ambient chill music to soothe down the transition.

scribbles

What's going on Mr. Blog and everbody else? I had a productive day today, I feel good. I helped out at this renovation site to reconstruct a house and it was in association with the Habitat for Humanity organisation. I would like to take more of these opportunities and utilize them to better myself.
I am ridicilously sleepy right now coz in the past two days I slept a combination of three hours. The cutest thing though, I did take a snooze in the evening and Bailey slept beside me. He is sooo adorable. Aight, I sound gay...Bailey is an aight dog :) I'm missing hanging out with my dearest friend already, you know who you are :( although its been only a few hours. Finally, the fact that I'm graduating is kicking in and that nothing ever is going to be the same from hereonforth is very eerie. Undergrad life was such a secure lifestyle, one lives in their bubble and doesn't need to come out of the cocoon. Well, all that is going to be the past for me real soon. Just gotta embrace the change I guess, something I'm quite good at with the experience of changing school more than 5 times before reaching college.
Anyways, gotta hit the sack. LOOOOOOOOOng day tomorrow of fun and games as well as a bit of studying to do as well. Passing out to the album of "An American Prayer" by Doors.

riddle riddle everywhere...

hello mr. blog and everybody else...the hours of the day pass by like their pocket change. I woke up in the morning from this ridicilous nightmare, and it was really scary. I staggered up to find my heartbeat soaring above normal. It really frieked me out, and I tried to recall the events but to no avail. A bosom bud of mine told me a crazy fact today about dreams and that it was actually in black and white. We wake to fill it up with colors. Amazing how many different ways dreams could be interpreted. I don't think there will ever be a set theory on exactly how a human brain produces dreams. The day we do is the day that human beings can sit back , relax, pop open a beer and say that " We have achieved the ultimatum of knowledge and there is nothing else to discover and unearth".

Saw the Nuggets game today against Lakers. I was really nervous and now I'm pissed at the way they just filled up with turmoil and confusion in the fourth quarter. At this rate, I feel bad for the Golden State Warriors who would've fared better against the Lakers. Shiva said the right thing, that Iverson needs to stop working so hard, and pass it around. Then again, he does, and look how the Nuggets have fared.

I've been thinking about these four lines from a old Limp Bizkit song-

I'm an idiot , A Loser, A Microphone abuser.....I analyze every second I exist, beating up my mind, every second with my fist.....

so true for my character......you know what , fuck analyzing myself, nobody's perfect. I got issues, what!

:) aight, gotta sleep a lil', somebody's meeting her mommy in the morning . I'm excited about my mum coming to b'lo too! Listening to Pink Floyd, the Echoes album and passin out....

smellin of grease and pizza

hello mr. blog, made some good money today, definitely going to put in the bank tomorrow. Otherwise, you know cash never stays, somehow somewhere they just dissapear dollar by dollar. It was Earth Day and I have nothing to show for it, absolutely nothing. I feel kinda bad and guilty, but I'm definitely gonna do something about in the next few days. I've been seeing this gopher dead in the middle of sweet home road for the past few days, it makes me queasy to see everytime I drive by it, and today I avoided the road all together and took niagara falls blvd. One part of me wants to at least it give it a nice resting spot beside the road, but another side of me, the useless side says no and tells me to let it be. Poor gopher, who the hell asked you to jump in front of a car, you should know better than that. We human beings are cruel beings, we stop for nothing and nobody. The kind ones are a rare exception and are hard to come by.
Today I visited the projects to deliver some food, even the dog n the cats are eerie over there, giving you the stare down if you ever go...somehow they seem to recognize who's from the hood and who's not.lol....aighty then, I shall be heading off to bed after watching maybe an episode of scrubs or 70's show. Listen to Michele Adamson's seventh son....great beat...aight, maybe I wont' sleep just yet, I just registered for a poker tourney :) good luck to me.

saw a long lost friend today...

Hello Blog. I went to drop Shro off and guess who I saw? It was Jack, who I saw grow up and now he's all huge and mighty. Jack's image of being a lil pup and just running around the house endlessley was what was stuck in my head all this time. He was so reserved, quiet and had an aura of wisdom around him, lol. And Bailey(who was also present) was acting like a lil' baby, which by the way, he is just 8 months old. He was so jealous everytime Shro or me patted Jack. Wow! bailey would do just about anything to get our attention. What a mutt! lol....pickin a fight with a dog 10 times his size. Why are all the smallest things the most aggressive and violent things?
Anyways, got friggin 10 hours of pizza delivery to do, so, I need 'em rest. Goodnight...listening to Moby and passin out. Goodnight daffy ;)

titbits

This is going to be the first of many posts in the days , weeks and maybe even years to come. The countdown to graduation has begun for me, and I gotta say, it is quite a scary feeling. There's always this tingle in my stomache. Anyways, had a nice evening, did a little bit of everything including the "good stuff" :) to top of the night. aight, good night mr. blog and others .