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After a year has past by and life has taken quite a turn, I humbly sit here to share a few of my thoughts and how they have changed as well, for the better or worse; that's for the readers to decide. I'm just going to put my thoughts onto paper and see if I feel any better. Its been a shitty few days , perhaps even weeks. I've been under a lot of stress lately. Usually, I'm not a complainer, but this lifestyle is getting under my skin and at times, driving me nuts. So, I thought to myself ,like ten minutes ago, how I would've dealt with such a feeling back in the day. I write and write and write to the point I exhaust all my feelings. Is it making me feel any better right now? No. I actually feel ridiculously clueless and waste of time. Instead , I'd rather finish off another lecture for histology. The thing is, that's not what I'm all about. I've lost myself in the past few months trying to please myself. Wait, let's rewind a bit..when I say please myself, I mean please others. I am a people person, fuck the modesty and all the formalities which go along with it. I like people and I take pride in my ability to be able to be there for anybody when they need me. It becomes a bitter experience when, instead of me doing it of my own accord, it becomes more like an obligation, a burden. That's when I become somebody and I begin to doubt myself. I give it all up till I got nothing else to give. Does that make me a selfish person? Does that make me a bad friend. I guess it does in people's eyes for I've raised the goddamn bar way too high . Never have I ever doubted myself as a person before coming to this island. Yes, I wasn't exactly too confident about myself but at least I didn't question my every move and motive. This island is evil........I wanna get out of here.